On our first date my husband, Sunny and I began talking about our love languages. He continues to joke with me “I wrote the book.” Because now we know now that if I get quality time he gets touch. We remember this, and playfully jab (since he does martial arts) at each other with this reminder as we work on being in relationship.
Why am I telling you this?
Because when working with the heart practices it’s sometimes easier to apply these practices to the ones you love. We never want pain of suffering for our loved ones, and we will do anything we can to keep them from it. So often it’s easier to feel the resonance of “May he/she be happy. May he/she be free from suffering.”
He shows me love by giving me quality time. And he shows up for me no matter my mood; sad, angry, afraid, excited, or joyful.
I was meditating with him this morning, before our coffee QT, focusing on my favorite loving kindness affirmation and starting point for my heart practice, “May I be with myself as I am right now.” I began to think about how I do I show up in relationship for myself. Do I give myself the quality time I need and deserve? Do I show up for myself with openness and welcome myself no matter my mood or emotions?
This affirmation helps me open to creating time and space for me no matter how I am feeling. Loving kindness is not just about the feeling love, happiness, and joy. It’s about showing up for ourselves with gentleness, openness, and holding space for ourselves as we are right now.
It’s about leaning in, not pushing down, or pushing away what we are feeling. It’s about abiding with those parts of us that need attention and quality time, holding then gently so we feel nurtured and heard. This begins to create the softness and spaciousness to nurture loving kindness towards ourselves.
When you are feeling any emotion towards yourself, whether hardness, judgement, insecurity, even joy. Hold it gently and repeat to yourself, “May I be with myself as I am right now.”
Join me for class this week to embody these loving kindness practices. Or let me guide you on a 5 week journey in my course “Yoga for the Heart."